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THE DARK SIDE OF JAPA OR NO JAPA (PART 1)
By: Dele Olawanle
I am passionate about this matter because I have seen it all. I am an immigrant. I have been in the criminal justice system for years and I have seen the lives of many immigrant children and black families messed up. Most of them were from broken homes. There is poverty in Africa, the economy is struggling and the governments are inept and corrupt. So, everyone living in those countries, both the ones doing well and those that are struggling wants to Japa.
They want to leave their country for a better country. Unfortunately, some of them cannot see the dark side. Let me paint a picture: You were doing well and you wanted to secure the future of your children. That was what you said. You resigned and got to your dream country. You discover that it is not what you expected. You cannot get a job or a bank manager to become a cleaner. Your wife gets a better job than you and seizes control of the house. You lost your dignity and became depressed. You cannot go back to your country. You started fighting each other. She called the police and you are banished from the house. You are prevented from seeing your children.
Your children don’t want to see you again because mummy has turned their head. Your husband has run away with someone of a different color or someone who can give him permanent residence. You did not see this coming when you started the conversation about relocating. The stories are not always like this, many families are doing well but it is usually like this. I am tired. This is what I deal with daily. Recently, a medical doctor called me. He and his wife have four children.
He started by crying. He relocated with his wife and earned a lot of money. Whenever he went to work, his wife would take the children to school. In time, the lady started having boyfriends among the fathers dropping their children who used to give her a lift. One day, he was standing with one of the men and they saw the doctor’s wife coming.
The guy told the doctor, “Let me introduce you to my girlfriend. She is fire”. The doctor almost had a heart attack. The wife disappeared. He went to work that night and by the time he got back home in the morning, the wife had packed all her belongings and moved out with the children. He has not seen those children for 8 months. The doctor told me he is willing to take her back because of the children but the children told the social services they don’t want to see daddy. They have been poisoned against him. Several men have tasted his wife. Humiliating! The doctor is now depressed and about to lose his job for lacking the sound mind to treat his patients. It started with the hunger rightly or an inordinate ambition for a better life.