A Political Merchant Called Fani-Kayode By Hon. Okoro Uchenna Kalu

Political merchandising is not new, but it has been elevated to an art by a few of which Mr. Femi Fani-Kayode is primus inter pares. As the merchant that he is, he sells his wares to where he thinks there is much profit to make dishonestly. The classic Merchant of Venice!

It must be conceded that he is a clever merchant of the Pharisee hue. It is not surprising that he wears the cassock of a moralist, only that he is pseudo in character and conviction. He quotes the Good Book, the Bible, like the scion of the devil that he is.

Having perfected the art of political sorcery, he enchants and conjures chimeras such that if one is not grounded in sound reasoning and in things holy and edifying, one can easily be enticed by his political portions and mirages.

The Femi Fani-Kayode personae is better understood in the postulation of Steve Maraboli that “people tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance.” For a long time, Mr. Fani-Kayode has been allowed to run amock sharing his twisted logic and spewing his ignorance and secret fear of failure with false braggadocio all over the place.

It is surprising that the Nigerian political establishment has allowed a man that has failed in every material particular to clown about with them. Well, in every court, there are palace jesters and entertainers. If not, how can a man that is given to the serial abuse of women, facing multiple corruption charges from outright stealing of government funds to forging medical report (see: https://www.channelstv.com/2022/02/26/how-fani-kayode-paid-me-n820000-for-forged-medical-report-witness/) thrive if not for ghoulish entertainment?

Little wonder that former President Olusegun Obasanjo made the telling point that, “Femi Fani Kayode is my boy. Provide him food, he will eat and then sing for you.”

Recently, in anticipation of food, he sang plaintively against the Governor of Abia State, Dr. Alex Otti, a man his better by any stretch of the imagination.

In his shameless turncoat nature and wanting to be seen as a defender of President Bola Tinubu, when the president doesn’t need such a character, he alleged that the Abia governor has failed to recognize Asiwaju Tinubu as Commander-in-Chief.

This further lends credence to the generally accepted notion that he is indeed a scion of the greatest liar of the ages – the Devil!

If it were to the contrary, the foul-mouthed, mischievous, and beggarly corruption-tainted Mr. Fani-Kayode should have known that Dr. Otti has come a long way with President Tinubu.

That as a former chief executive of the defunct Diamond Bank, Dr. Otti had and has continued to enjoy good personal relations with the president. The mischief of making capital of administrative housekeeping of the new administration in Abia state speaks to the divisive and Luciferian mould of Mr. Fani-Kayode.

A poor soul without any political capital other than the noisy vuvuzela that he is, it will be an interesting prospect for Mr. Fani-Kayode to run for elections or show which polling booth he has won all his miserable and disjointed life. If he is so persuaded of his relevance other than hanging on to a fast fading pedigree, he should show which enterprise he has run and that is thriving to make him believe he should have a say amongst men of industry and positive ability.

A peep into his jaded history will show a conflicted, Janus-like individual with no moral fibre. Rather, a hollow, shallow, and whining baby in an adult body.

It is pertinent to show the duplicitous nature of Mr. Fani-Kayode.

On July 17, 2017, in his usual magisterial outburst, Mr. Fani-Kayode had this to say of the now ruling All Progressives Congress (see: https://dailypost.ng/2017/07/17/femi-fani-kayode-apc-cult-death/):  “The truth is that it is the APC that are the stinking corpses and the rotting cadavers and not the PDP. They smell like rotting Chinese fish and a Calcutta brothel all rolled into one.

“They stink to high heavens and they have fouled up the Nigerian space with their compelling and overwhelming stench and their fecal aroma.”

Before then, on July 2, 2014, he said this of immediate past Minister of Information, Alhaji Lai Mohammed and the APC, (see: https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/164295-let-us-meet-in-court-fani-kayode-challenges-apc.html?tztc=1): “I repeat you are a pernicious liar and a shameless coward and your party is filled with such people. The truth is that you are not fit to hold power. Permit me to reiterate that I am not shying away from anything that I said in my interview with Channels TV on June 30th and if you think that I am doing so you are sadly mistaken.”

These are but few of the many hate-filled, dangerous rhetoric and mudslinging that Mr. Fani-Kayode has engaged in, all his life. But as an “Any Where Belly Face” character, it is not surprising that he makes volte face at any time his daily feeding bottle is threatened. At present, he is agitated that nothing has come his way by appointment and he needs to show he can yelp and prattle about issues he is ill-equipped to interrogate. What a pity!

Mercifully, the president has appointed majority of his personal appointees and because the jejune, pigsty and loquacious Fani-Kayode did not make the cut, and likely far from the ministerial list, he needs to bellow from the anguish of rejection to be noticed. Eyaaah!

In the event of any further foolhardiness against Governor Otti, Mr. Fani-Kayode should be reminded that when the president meets with governors, he (Fani-Kayode) will not be near the gate of Aso Rock, while the man that is leading the Abia renaissance, a man of global reckoning will not only be there, but standing with the imprimatur of hundreds of thousands of Abians and which is already a testament. But it is a feat that will forever be beyond Mr. Houseboy Fani-Kayode’s reach as a slave of mammon that he is.  Such a groveling, shit filled-maggot!

*Hon. Kalu is the member representing Arochukwu State Constituency in the Abia State House of Assembly.*